Over my
years living here in Spain for some curious reason the
Guardia Civil’s path and mine seem to cross quite frequently. Please don’t
misunderstand me when I say this. I am not a hardened escaped bank robber from
the East End of London or a drug baron with Balkan connections on the run. On the
contrary I am a law abiding (occasional parking or speeding ticket) citizen. However, somehow I have had
some quite interesting brushes with the law. Most of these so called “brushes”
can be summed up as bizarre. Today I am going to tell you about one of the stranger ones. Please excuse the length of it but I havent been able to reduce it to a short version.
It all
started when I went fishing one sunny autumn morning. I had gone to fish in a
very lonely and isolated place,called Tous Reservoir, and I went to an
area which you can only get to by walking
a long way through gullies and over mountains. I left the
car at the end of the road(it is a dead
end) , next to the lake which is a large artificial lake formed by the dammed river Jucar.This car park is in itself lonely
. I then hiked maybe over an hour to a place from where I used to walk back fishing from. I was spinning/lure fishing
which is a type of fishing which involves
moving around and means you can and should move from one place to another a lot.
Tous Reservoir |
And
literally, as I made my first cast I saw what looked like a dirty old deflated
plastic football lying in the dried mud(the reservoir had recently receded and
gone down in level since I was last there).
The dirty
deflated ball was slightly too solid
when I kicked it and it rolled over a couple of times and as I watched
it rolling, it dawned on me that it was
no football but a human skull!!!!
Excuse the
pun, but I literally stopped dead in my tracks……….OooooH! Looking around I suddenly realized that there were bones(definitely
human) scattered all over the area of about twenty square metres.
I checked
where I was. Basically near(about 100 metres from) an old abandoned hut/farm. As I had no coverage on my phone and the bones weren’t going
anywhwere I decided to continue fishing, wondering sporadically where the bones
came from.Were they the remains of some Civil War murder squad, a cemetery or some poor
victim of a pyscho killer? I eventually got home 5 hours later and called the
Guardia Civil to report the find. “No need for you to come back to the
reservoir, Sr.Waller,we know the area well” I was told.
“Yes but
the bones are in a very isolated place. Past the…” The duty Guardia Civil interrupted,”If we need
your help we will call you”. And they did a couple of hours later.They could not find the bones and could I take them to the place. So I met up with two agents
from the local cop shop. One the sergeant was overweight,looked overworked, and very serious and the other
was young thin and smiled a lot,the rookie.I duly spent four hours with the Laurel
and Hardy of the men in green(Guardia Civil).Nice enough guys but in no way
were they CSI investigators!
Tous Reservoir is a wildlife haven and this is a Short Toed Eagle I got a shot of there recently |
We
scrabbled over mountain paths with steep drops.They were sweating profusely,in their green acrylic uniforms and in their black uniform
shoes were slipping all over the place whilst I picked my way diligently in my hiking boots.We
chatted about their work hours,the lack of manpower,ETA,where they came from (the
Guardia Civil are almost always posted
away from their hometown):they were from Galicia and Andalucia,
”And you
come out here on your own?”,the sergeant(the large one) asked increduously.
As we walk and as we start to arrive at the 'bone spot' a series of worries flashed through my mind.What if
they weren’t human bones? Would I be done for wasting their time? And if they
were human maybe they would treat me as a suspect?! This thought made me feel pretty uncomfortable being
in a foreign country and being from a country with its fair share of pycho killers!
Well, once
we got to the bones they confirmed that they were human and the younger and more
eager of the two was enthusiastically taking digital photos with a very simple holiday type digital camera. (They
didn’t seem to bother about contaminating “the scene” as they walked everywhere
and turned bones over and picked stuff up). As he was taking photos, I looked
down and saw the biggest pair of
scissors(rusty and oldish) that you have ever seen. I thought of saying “Hey
look at these!” but I quickly changed my mind. I reckoned it wouldn’t look too
good to find the murder weapon,as well!! Bit suspicious! So I sidled away to a
different spot to watch their amateur CSI forensics. Sure enough
the young keen agent found the scissors and shouted to his boss”Jefe!” And they
proceeded to lift them up with that Bic pen hands free technique you see in
films. They ummed and arred for a while
and then decided to put them in a Mercadona (local supermarket)bag they found
there and then. Most of the larger bones
were put in a black bin bag they had brought along in their Laurel and Hardy
forensic kit. So I asked them,”You don`t think this is anything suspicious,
then?”
Hardy said,”Well,the
bones look oldish but it is hard to say as they have been underwater and mud. We
have to treat this as suspicious taking into account the scissors etc.We will analyse everything and if they are recent we will have to come back.”
Wow! I
thought,not many rigid crime scene rules followed here.Between the Mercadona
bag and the three of us trampling over the area and the bones picked up and
dumped in a black bin bag it all seemd a little lackadaisical.
Still we
made our way back as I said it was getting dark and if we didn’t hurry we wouldn’t
make it back in daylight and the mountain paths were dangerous enough not to
have to negotiate them in the dark!
Fortunately
as we started walking back we saw a small dinghy motoring by which the Guardia
Civil hailed to come over.You should have seen the look on the guys' faces.They
thought they were being pulled over to have their fishing and boat licenses checked(and they almot certainly didn’t have everything in order from the look
on their faces!) But we just piled into the boat with the black bin bag and the Mercadona bag.The
guys in the boat were intrigued about who I was as I was in civvies but I just
chatted to them about fishing.One of them could contain his curiousity no
longer.”So are you a Guardia Civil?” I had to laugh "Me? No, I am a fisherman
like you.” How on earth could he have thought a guiri(foreigner/Brit) with a
guiri accent was a policeman. Maybe now somewhere in Spain there is at least
one English Guardia Civil,(although it's unlikely) but this was about 17 years ago and the idea was
highly unlikely!
Tous Castle nearly submerged by the reservoir |
I could see
the fishermen were puzzled as to what I was doing with two Guardia Civil, a
Mercadona bag and a black bin bag,which they continuously glanced at furtively.
Anyway,
still intrigued,the fishermen dropped us off near our car. We clambered out of the boat and as they all
stood there the sergeant said to them,lifting up the bin bag,”I suppose you
want to know what this is all about? Well this gentleman here found some human
remains up at the other end of the lake and we have been up there to get some
samples.Thanks so much for your help.” I noticed the two fishermen look at me
with a look which seemed like a mixture
of suspicion,horror and fear. I felt distinctly uncomfortable and a very like a
suspect in a bad detective B movie.
Back at the
station the police made me fill out a form and said they would be in touch once
the bones had been analysed.Jesus! Would they come knocking on my door for
further questioning!
When I told my workmates about the story a couple
of them said that I shouldn’t have reported the find. What if the Guardia Civil
had killed a couple of ETA terrorists and dumped them there 10 years before. Or what if it was a Civil
War related mass grave and the Guardia
Civil were in some way involved. You might have stirred up a real hornets nest.
I should be more careful about what I report. Amazing!That was so comforting of
them!
The Guardia
Civil never called me. So I thought it was
nothing….but my wife said let’s call and find out.So she did and they said that
the bones were well over a hundred years old and were most likely from the nearby
abandoned hut/farm which was too far from the nearest village to take their
dead there so they had buried them there near the buildings and the modern
reservoir had uncovered their makedo cemetery.
I must say it was a relief to hear the news but
then I thought, what if…………..
Ha! Fantastic post. Good to see the Laurel and Hardy crack team were carrying Mercadona bags about. Would have hated to have seen them having to waste another few centimos paying for another to put the bones in.
ReplyDeleteHaha!The dynamic duo and their placky bag---thnaks for the comment and RT Will!
ReplyDelete